Learning to Learn. Its all about habits and space and not throwing the kid to the ‘tutor’.

Recently it seems the craze by what some term as ‘helicopter’ parents have gone even further.

Its not longer good enough to help the kid to learn the curriculum, now its imperative to teach your kid in learning how to learn. 

Well, I am not going to call -bull-s*** on this as being an educator, there is really some sense in this. For example, ensuring the kid gets a good set of reading skills helps immensely later when the kid has to read his or her own books for further knowledge acquisition.

My problem is that now have full-fledged industries appearing like mushrooms after a downpour where parents can simply dump money and their kids into and voila!, parents are totally absolved of all responsibilities of being there to help your dear off-springs learn.

Some even advertise : “Papa and mama can even go for that cuppa of coffee or catch that block-buster movie while junior stays with us for the next 2 hours for $80 per hour!”.

I have issues with this, as I have always believed that children do and will pick up values from those who spend the time with them, and if we wish for our kids to pick up values from us and not from the tutor, this investment of time is what we have to do.

After all, I don’t think we became parents to simply end up sub-contracting the parenting job to others right?


for me, I apply Arthur Costa’s 16 Habits of Mind that help people manage uncertain or challenging situations and from here, i try my best to teach my kids about my beliefs and values – in the hope that this will lead to the formation of habits they will take with them on their future days. 

  1. Persisting, even when **** happens
  2. Managing Impulsivity (yes, we all can afford to wait a bit)
  3. Listening with Understanding and Empathy
  4. Thinking Flexibly
  5. Thinking about Thinking (yeap, kinda high level but really important fighting against biase-ness
  6. Striving for Accuracy
  7. Applying Past Knowledge to New Situations
  8. Questioning and Posing Problems
  9. Remaining Open to  Continuous Learning
  10.  Finding Humor (well, life can suck at times)
  11. Gathering Data through All the Senses
  12. Thinking and Communicating with Clarity and Precision
  13. Thinking Interdependently
  14. Creating, Imagining, and Innovating
  15. Responding with Wonderment and Awe
  16. Taking Responsible Risks

No, I am no full time parent nor a saint, but I do try, and so should we. And no, I don’t and can’t recall all 16 of them – having a good sense of common sense helps a lot. 🤣

Lastly, Bonus rule 17 is knowing that learning is never just about academics


Learning is also about exposure and experiences, and that alone gives huge leeway in letting parents do something that interests them too.


Its not easy, to juggle among so many mad competing wants, needs and demands now in life, but then, let’s spend time on what’s worth it, and our kids deserve this.

All the best and may we be blessed in our parenting journeys.
Thank you for reading.

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